ONLY TALKING ABOUT IT: Unfortunately, most people don’t successfully process their emotions. Many people just rely on ‘talking it out’ with their friends. But rarely are friends able to provide a healthy objective sounding board. Friends usually reinforce the justifications and excuses. Venting to friends can provide temporary relief. But this is only a STOP GAP measure!
ATTACHING TO THE STORY: Complaining to your friends DOES NOT PROCESS the emotion. In fact, this further entrenches you in the STORY! Negative rumination further attaches you to the painful emotion. This just creates more layers to process! The more you dwell on the suffering, the deeper the CORE issue becomes buried. Secondary emotions are added just by focussing on the drama of the story.
JOURNALING & MEDITATION: Journaling is an opportunity to be more honest with ourselves. Meditation quietens our mind and promotes detachment & inner processing. These are both much healthier alternatives.
PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT: Blaming others and gossiping with friends is generally unhelpful. This is not productive processing. If you are struggling, a trained professional can help. Counsellors are expert at keeping the conversation neutral. They can provide an unbiased perspective and insight. Instead of venting to friends, try processing with an expert.
Find which PROCESSING TECHNIQUES work for you