Podcast #3: How do you know if something is right for you?
Welcome to the UltimateQuest.org PODCAST. This is EPISODE #3 where we continue the ‘FINDING YOUR PASSION’ SERIES. The TITLE of this episode is: ‘How do you know if something is right for you?’
In this episode, we help you to better discern whether something is right for you or not. But how can you really tell the difference? We will discuss this shortly.
HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR DECISIONS?
Every day we make important life decisions. But our inner needs are constantly changing. So how would you know if something is really right for you, at this very moment?
Let’s take a real example…. how would you know if this Podcast episode is right for you? Have you ever thought about how you make your decisions?
FIRST, SPOT-CHECK YOUR EMOTIONAL VIBE.
Try this approach… Something is worth pursuing if the message or situation RESONATES with you in a POSITIVE WAY. But proceed cautiously, then recheck again later! It’s that simple!
You can do this with a spot-check of your feelings or vibe. Check whether the message resonates positively. Your response might just be a gut feeling or a hunch.
TUNE INTO YOUR EMOTIONS & BODY FEELINGS.
What we are actually doing is quickly ‘tuning in’ to our emotions. We get an instant readout of our emotional vibration or vibe. In this way, we can quickly sense how this message actually ‘feels’ within our body. That’s the first ‘trade secret’ for today.
OUR EMOTIONS ARE A GUIDANCE SYSTEM.
We can instantly check whether something feels positive & empowering, or not. We can use emotions & our body-feelings as an instant guidance system. Tuning into our vibe is one of the three main INNER GUIDANCE systems we all have!
Some people are good at recognizing those instant emotion-vibe signals and use them effectively. Others deny or downplay their emotions and feelings. So, they just miss out on this instant guidance.
EMOTIONS ARE FAST BUT NOT ALWAYS SUITABLE.
Using our emotions for guidance is rapid & reasonably accurate. But emotions are NOT practical for more complex issues, like working out our life purpose.
So, what can we use instead? Can you think of an alternative guidance system?
DEEP INTUITIVE DISCERNMENT IS A HEARTFELT KNOWING.
For more complex issues, we must use a skill called discernment. There are two types of discernment. The first type of discernment is deep intuitive discernment. You might recognize this as a heart-felt or inner knowing. This can be a wise inner voice or something inside that nudges us in the right direction! But we can be quite rusty at tuning into this.
DON’T CONFUSE INTUITION WITH EMOTIONS.
Deep intuitive discernment can sometimes be confused with using our emotions for guidance. So, how is deep intuitive discernment different from spot-checking our emotions or vibe?
Emotions are instant! Emotions and feelings are much more obvious and easier to recognise. We feel emotions as if they are physically present in our body. They are hard to dismiss!
Here’s a quick rule of thumb. If you are sensing something that is strongly demanding your attention, it’s likely to be your emotions or ego.
OUR INNER VOICE IS QUIET & NOT DEMANDING.
Deep intuitive discernment is the complete opposite. It requires us to tune in and listen to our quiet inner voice, at a deep level. Unlike emotions, our inner voice is not controlling and does not demand our attention.
Deep intuitive discernment takes much more practice to master. As young children, we could access our inner voice quite effortlessly. But as adults, we have often forgotten how to do this!
INTUITION REQUIRES PATIENCE & PRACTICE TO DEVELOP.
To effectively use our deep intuitive discernment, we need to regularly practise tuning into that ‘quiet voice’ inside. Usually we notice this as an inner nudge or a knowing, rather than a voice. It takes time, focus and practise to tune in to this valuable intuitive guidance. Then, this inner knowing slowly unfolds and rises to our consciousness.
USE INTUITION FOR BIG OR COMPLEX LIFE DECISIONS.
Deep intuitive discernment works well for the big decisions in life, especially complex issues! It just takes more time and practice! This is another big SECRET to mastering our life.
So in summary, using our emotions is fast & effective for simple and quick decision making. On the other hand, deep intuitive discernment is much better for complex life decisions. It provides a more accurate and comprehensive guide for important personal choices…. like, what am I really meant to do with my life? BUT remember deep intuitive discernment requires more time, practise and focus to master.
INTELLECTUAL LOGICAL DISCERNMENT IS TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS.
We mentioned that there are two types of discernment. The first one was deep intuitive discernment.
The second type is intellectual logical discernment. This is the academic type of discernment we are taught at school. Unfortunately, in the education system, deep intuitive discernment skills are almost completely ignored.
LOGISTICAL PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED INTELLECTUALLY.
So how does intellectual logical discernment differ from deep intuitive discernment?
Intellectual logical discernment is reasonably fast. This logic-based system is the way we learnt to problem solve at school. So, we know this method of reasoning well!
Intellectual logical discernment is good for simple logistical decisions & math problems, but it suboptimal for major life decisions.
ACADEMIC TRUTHS ARE OFTEN PROVEN WRONG.
Intellectual logical discernment is relatively fast, but it is prone to bias & error. History has taught us that many academic truths are later proven wrong. Experts once believed the world was flat and the earth was at the centre of the universe! So, imagine what current day truths might turn out to be wrong?
INTELLECTUAL LOGICAL DISCERNMENT IS BIASED.
Intellectual logical discernment is also biased by our past experience & conditioning. It depends on what we were previously taught or exposed to. It relies on fallible memories. Plus, everyone has a different filter or perception. We are also subconsciously swayed by emotion & drama from past experiences. It’s also affected by what we choose to believe. That may not always be true!
DEEP INTUITION IS NOT LIMITED BY INTELLECT OR THINKING.
By contrast our deep intuitive discernment is unbiased. It’s not limited by intellect or thinking. Deep intuitive discernment is more than just facts, logic & reasoning. It goes beyond the intellectual understanding of a subject.
INTUITION OFFERS A PANORAMIC PERSPECTIVE.
Deep intuitive discernment is much more comprehensive & inclusive. It offers us a broader, more panoramic level of assessment!
Because of this higher perspective, its assessment is wiser & more balanced. It guides us towards our passion & joy
INTUITIVE KNOWING CAN TAKE TIME TO SURFACE.
However, deep intuitive discernment can be significantly slower. It requires much more time to correctly pose the question and tune in to the answer. This process requires quiet contemplation. The response will come later as a realization or an inner knowing. We eventually get a heartfelt sense that something is right for us! It can also feel like an ‘aha-moment’ or a powerful insight. This is our quiet inner voice at work.
EMBRACING INTUITION IS A POSITIVE CHALLENGE.
Society has heavily conditioned us to use our intellectual logical discernment. So the challenge for us now, as adults, is to utilize our deep intuitive discernment more regularly.
But remember... a challenge is not always a bad thing. It can stretch us, just like learning to ride a bike as a child! A challenge can be exciting & fun as well. Improving our deep intuitive discernment can be a new adventure. The accomplishment will build our courage & self-worth. Embracing this challenge will also help us reach our potential.
DON’T OVERREACT OUT OF DOUBT OR FEAR.
So, we have discussed the pros and cons of the three different guidance systems. Now, let’s further discuss how we can decide if something is right for us or not.
What if we are STILL not certain whether something is right for us? What do we do if a message or situation just does not fully resonate? If something does not have the right vibe, this should put up a yellow ‘caution flag’ in our mind. But be careful not to overreact on every transient feeling of doubt or fear. These emotions are likely just arising from your Ego. This will hold you back!
USE YOUR DEEP INTUITION TO DOUBLE CHECK.
Keep objective & detached until you double check with your deep intuitive discernment! Remember, we all have intuitive abilities! This powerful intuition is how we double check if something is really right for us!
LEARN TO PAUSE YOUR DECISION MAKING.
So, when something doesn’t resonate, just temporarily pause your involvement! But don’t totally discount it all, just yet.
With the decision on hold, we now have the time to use our faculty of deep intuitive discernment. This process of pausing is another trade-secret! Because we have paused the decision making, we now have more time to assess it more objectively. To do this, we use our deep intuitive discernment. We could even add our intellectual logical discernment as well.
A COMBINATION OF DISCERNMENT METHODS IS BEST.
All three guidance systems have a role to play. So, what is the most practical discernment strategy for everyday life? Using a blend of all three is usually best! Combining emotions, intellect and intuition is very powerful. This is like using our gut, mind & heart together. We can mix and match these to the situation as appropriate. This does require some practise!
A HOLISTIC APPROACH HELPS BALANCE COMPETING PRIORITIES.
A flexible approach makes our decisions more holistic. It helps balance all the competing priorities. This is most practical approach to find deeper meaning, purpose & joy in life. This is how we tackle our Ultimate Quest, whatever that might be! It sure beats meditating in a cave for months on end.
HOW DO WE KNOW WE ARE MAKING THE BEST DECISIONS?
We can tell a decision is right by noticing an improvement in our wellbeing. Check for an increased level of joy or lasting happiness. It can also feel like a weight has been lifted. We feel more energized and have greater clarity.
Longer term, we will feel a greater sense of contentment, fulfilment, and inner peace. This confirms we are making effective decisions.
OUR DECISIONS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Remember, our decisions are OUR CHOICE and OUR RESPONSIBILITY. We must choose the right type discernment for the situation! Whether or not we tune in to our inner guidance and heed this, is up to us. But we do bare responsibility for the consequences!
SUMMARY OF EPISODE #3.
Here is a SUMMARY of what we have covered in episode #3:
1. When faced with a decision, we can do an instant emotional spot check. We quickly assess how it feels. We check if it resonates with us. We tune into our emotions and our body. This is our gut feeling! This is our emotional guidance system.
2. We also have a deeper intuitive level of discernment that we can tap into. This is our inner voice or heart-felt, inner knowing. It can give us a gentle nudge, an insight or AHA-moment!
3. The third guidance system is intellectual logical discernment. This is usually the only strategy taught at school. It’s suitable for simple logistical decisions, but not complex life choices. It’s moderately fast, but can be biased or flawed.
4. To make the best possible life choices, we need to use the appropriate blend of all three of these guidance systems.
PRACTISE IMPROVING YOUR DISCERNMENT SKILLS.
So, give this all try! If you feel hesitant, just gently place this topic at the back of your mind. You might even want to relisten to this episode to strengthen your understanding. Give yourself some time to contemplate it all, and see what comes up for you later. This in itself is practicing your deep discernment! Be open and invite the new insights in! Welcome them!
TRUST THAT YOUR SKILLS WILL BUILD OVER TIME.
Remember... It takes time to build our trust in using these inner guidance systems. Because we are just learning, we might not always get it right. Just start in the best way you can. You will learn from your mistakes.
DECISION MAKING IS A KEY TO SUCCESS ON AN ULTIMATE QUEST.
To succeed on our Ultimate Quest, we need to optimise our discernment strategies. So, we encourage you to practice this important skill! Give it a try!
Bye for now. Hope to meet you again in episode #4 where we continue this ‘Finding Your Passion’ series. This next episode is titled: HINTS to finding your Ultimate Quest?