SOS BOOK - Chapter 1.19 What blocks our personal growth?
Sometimes we glimpse the potential benefit of changing our life. Then doubts arise: Should we attempt changing? Will it really succeed? Is it worth the effort? What problems will it produce? OUR DOUBT, DISTRUST AND EVEN CYNICISM CAN SURFACE!
Often, we don’t fully accept it’s worth the effort or the risk involved. Or, we don’t really believe we can achieve this. We don't trust the process. Sometimes we foresee potential problems in changing. As a result, WE CAN BECOME UNCERTAIN & ANXIOUS! This can block our progress! This is the first hurdle we must overcome...
WE MUST COUNTER OUR DOUBTS & FEARS WITH CONVICTION!
To help our decision making, we should CONTEMPLATE THE RESULTS OF NOT CHANGING OURSELVES. What will happen if we don’t overcome our initial doubts & concerns? What happens if we succumb to our usual rigidity, pride, fear or self-doubt? We then RISK FURTHER DELAY OR EVEN GIVING UP completely! We will then continue with more dissatisfaction & resultant suffering. Plus, WE INVITE FURTHER DECLINE, disorder & disease!
There are other traps and pitfalls at this critical stage of awakening...
Our ‘self-worth’, that self-manufactured valuation of ourselves, is important in this decision making. In some way, WE MUST FEEL WORTHY of the potential benefit to our-self. We also MUST FEEL CAPABLE of doing this. Yet so often, our prior upbringing & social conditioning has lowered our self-esteem. This can even make us feel helpless or even that it’s all hopeless. We might need to address that!
In addition, to some degree, WE FEAR THE EMBARRASSMENT OF FAILING. So, often we don’t commit fully, to reduce this risk. However, it’s important to remember that such a perceived ‘failing’ can’t really harm us physically. It’s only a mental concept, a perspective and frame of reference. We can even benefit through this perceived struggle by understanding more about ourselves. However, by NOT changing our-self, there is by contrast, a high probability of actual physical decline! Plus, more emotional suffering results due to chronic dissatisfaction, emptiness & unfulfillment.
For all these reasons and more, it’s not easy to break free of our old habitual ways. It does take some effort and perseverance! So, WE MUST HAVE ENOUGH MOTIVATION to change. We need to find what personally provides us with enough motivation to change!
This leads to the next life lesson (No. 57):
WE WILL REGRET NOT ATTEMPTING WHAT WE DEEPLY WANT
Failing at any attempt at personal development should not be regretted. The lasting or permanent regret is knowing we didn’t attempt something we REALLY wanted. Or that we didn’t give it our best effort!
‘Why should I bother with changing’, is a common defensive reaction to our hidden doubts & fears. CONSIDER AGAIN THE ALTERNATIVE… Our life will fill up with more of the same: ongoing dissatisfaction and a pervasive emptiness. It’s inevitable: more disappointment, more frustration, more disillusionment. MORE CHRONIC SUFFERING! This will slowly grow from dissatisfaction to despair or depression, to disorder & disease. This leads to some potential disaster and eventually to ‘the big D’, an unfulfilled death. Is this what we really want for ourselves?
This is a fundamental life-choice and life lesson (No. 58):
IT’S OUR CHOICE … CHRONIC SUFFERING AND AN UNFULFILLED DEATH, OR A NEW QUALITY OF LIVING
We should CONSIDER this decision CAREFULLY. Consider these issues deeply. Contemplate them. Take a little more time. It is useful to re-read some earlier parts of this chapter. Then read on further when you are ready.
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