SOS BOOK - Chapter 1.12 Finding lasting or permanent happiness
LONG-LASTING HAPPINESS is a state of contentment, fulfillment and inner peace... THIS REQUIRES A SPECIAL STRATEGY! IT'S NOT THE SAME AS SEEKING PLEASURE. We need a new attitude, a change of direction, to achieve lasting or permanent happiness.
But who can show us the way? Who would be prepared to help us? It often seems too difficult, too unknown and too threatening. It all just seems too hard! So, usually we just stay in our social circle, interest-group or religion. Here we are offered a limited group strategy. It’s usually one of compensation and short-term measures. We seek our comfort & solace there, with ‘the accepted way’ of doing things.
This brings us to an important life lesson (No. 40):
LASTING HAPPINESS REQUIRES A DIFFERENT LONG-TERM PLAN
People around us seems to be in the same situation. So initially, it seems acceptable to keep doing the same thing. First, we try strategies familiar to our group & peers. This helps reconnect us to the group, which in return supports us. So, initially this is how we cope with our dissatisfaction & slow suffering… we try the usual ‘band-aid’ measures. Our wider community also supplies a wide range of such temporary aids for us to choose from. You might guess what these are, and we will discuss these later. Generally, we are encouraged to live with our low-grade dissatisfaction.
This UN-EASE however is AN IMPORTANT SIGNAL OF INNER SUFFERING. It’s A WARNING regarding our LACK OF WELL-BEING.
We shouldn’t suppress such important warning symptoms… but mostly we don’t hear or heed these. We usually ignore that 'faint cry’ from our true self.
This is life lesson No. 41:
DISSATISFACTION SIGNALS A LACK OF INNER WELL-BEING
Many of us know that feeling of chronic dissatisfaction. We might have the work-training we wanted, that important job, an enviable lifestyle and even a special relationship. Eventually we might even achieve some authority, wealth, prestige or influence. BUT despite all this, we are still discontent and not really satisfied or fulfilled. All these achievements have not brought us the inner peace & calm we so yearn.
A few people might even attain enormous power, wealth or acclaim. Even this does not seem to be enough. That’s not the answer to inner peace, contentment & fulfillment. Such rich & powerful persons are often the most miserable inside - for they have little left to aspire to. They increasingly fear the loss of their wealth & control. Finally, ‘the cost’ of maintaining that power just becomes too great to bare.
At a lowlier human level, we usually believe that if we work harder, or smarter, we will become happier. We tell ourselves this will happen soon: perhaps after that next pay rise, or with a new car or better home. Or when we finally meet that special person. However, lasting happiness and inner peace never comes like that. Those material rewards never fully satisfy our inner needs. They never can, and never will lead to a state of inner peace, contentment and fulfillment.
That’s however the way most of us live: Promising ourselves things will get better and working hard to distract ourselves. We just keep denying or ignoring our true inner self, and our deepest wants. Instead of accurately determining these core needs and empowering them, we instead work on the containment system.
WE HOLD BACK OUR INNER NEEDS
Meanwhile our primal urge for fulfillment keeps on building. Our innermost desires are like water building behind a dam. Just waiting to be released, to go somewhere new. Our need for inner expression is so strong. It wants to run free in a new fulfilling direction. Channeled only by our own special ability, and our unique life experience. Inwardly we yearn for this new way of living. A way of expressing & fulfilling our true inner self.
This is the next important life lesson (No. 42):
OUR NEED FOR INNER FULFILLMENT IS GREAT
Our individual fulfillment could also serve Humanity. Others could benefit from our unique or special abilities. To us, it would all seem remarkably effortless, because we’re doing something we want and really enjoy. Something that really inspires us. This brings contentment and lasting happiness. Finally, we can find the deep inner peace we so yearn for.
This is life lesson No. 43:
INNER SELF-EXPRESSION CAN BRING US REAL FULFILLMENT